Oh No, Minister!

Over the past months there has been some much welcome renewed criticism of the EBacc proposals as a whole:

Indeed All Change Please! would like to suggest that perhaps getting the Arts included in the EBacc is not actually the challenge. The real problem is the EBacc itself, and in 2013 that’s what we should be concentrating on completely demolishing.

Now, it so happens that by an amazing co-incidence All Change Please! has just obtained a transcript of a conversation that took place in the summer of 2010  between Sir Humphrey Appleby and Malcolm Tucker, shortly after the present coalition government wasn’t actually elected.


Sir Humphrey:  Ah, Malcolm, good to see you. Tell me, how is your new Education Minister – that Govey chap – settling in?

Malcolm Tucker:  God, what a ****** he is. Thank goodness he doesn’t know the first ********* thing about education, otherwise he might realise that the rest of the department doesn’t either. Anyway he’s taken the bait and seems to think he’s about to do something worthwhile.

SH:  Ah yes, you mean while in reality he’s just generating a lot of controversy, anger and press-coverage to divert everyone from the real economic problems the country faces?

MT:  Absolutely. I’ll tell you something a bit *****odd though – he keeps wanting everything done by the following afternoon – he keeps muttering ‘next p.m.’ all the time

SH: How strange. We must be careful – we can’t have that.

MT: Anyway, what I wanted to see you about was this idea he, by which I mean I, had for this quite unworkable EBacc edushambles omnifiasco nonsense that the Daily Mail will fall for in a big way. There will be a lot of coverage, but I think there might be some serious opposition to it.

SH:  Hmm. Well, let’s suppose the proposal for the EBacc didn’t include certain popular subjects such as, say, Art, Music, PE and RE? There would be such an uproar that no-one would spend much time complaining about the EBacc itself. And, let’s face it, all those arty-farty, singing and dancing, running, jumping and standing still and the on their knees, happy-clappy praying brigade were never bright enough to get into a Russell Group University in the first place, so I doubt they will realise they are being set up. All that should serve to delay it long enough until the next government is formed and the whole thing is abandoned.

MT:  That’s ****** genius. Sir Humpy, you are the saviour of the civil service. I wouldn’t be surprised if in a few years time they’ll do a remake of you on UKTV Gold with some actor playing you – what would you say to that then?

SH:  I’d say ‘Oh No!’ Minister…


Meanwhile here’s a petition to sign calling for an extended EBacc consultation period

EBacc Petition

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